


Tinted Red

by krazyanimegirl



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Depressed Yuuri, Depression, Gay, HONESTLY STUFF HAPPENS THERE'S YOUR TAG, HOW EVER YOU SPELL IT, Hospital, Hurt, Hurt Yuuri, I don't know crap about medical situations, Lots of Angst, M/M, Romance, Sad, THERE ARE GOD DAMN TRIGGERS, TRIGGERS TRIGGERS TRIGGERS TRIGGERS TRIGGERS, Triggers: Depression, VictUuri, Victuri, Vikturi, i ain't promising or denying anything, other pairings will be added?, there are triggers, viktor x yuuri - Freeform, viktuuri, worried viktor, yuri!!! on ice - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazyanimegirl/pseuds/krazyanimegirl
Summary: The ice was tinted red as the lifeless body slid a few feet more coming to a stop.Viktor stood there, mesmerized by the swirling bright colour, trapped in a daze.It was the screams that snapped him out of it.Viktor had never run faster in his life.





	1. Chapter 1

The audience was captivated as Yuuri skated around on the rink. No one could take their eyes off him as he perfectly preformed all his jumps, quads, and spins. The cheers rose up from the crowd, and Viktor cheered along with them. He smiled as the ring on Yuuri's right hand gleamed in the light, claiming that he was taken, claiming that he was Viktor's.

It made his heart ache.

The anticipation rose as the performance was coming to an end. If Yuuri executed the final move, the quadruple flip, perfectly, the free skate would be a cinch. A gold medal was within his reach.

Now, for the quadruple flip! Yuuri thought, bending his knee before launching himself into the air. 

Then it all came crashing down; literally.

A sickening crack was heard as Yuuri's head connected with the ice. Gasps and shouts of shock came from the crowd, and Viktor stood there, frozen, as Yuuri's once moving, beautiful body turned lifeless. Blood was now staining the ice. 

The ice was tinted red as the lifeless body slid a few more feet before coming to a stop.

Viktor stood there, mesmerized by the swirling bright colour, trapped in a daze.

It was the screams that snapped him out of it.

Viktor had never run faster in his life.

He ran out onto the ice, gliding over to Yuuri's lifeless body. He dropped to his knees, not even noticing that he was kneeling in a puddle of growing blood, the red fluid staining his pants. He gently turned Yuuri around and rested his head in his lap, cradling his face.

"Yuuri? Open your eyes for me. Can you do that, my pork cutlet bowl? Just open your eyes for me, Yuuri. Please, I need to see them real quick." Viktor quietly pleaded, his fingers trembling. He pushed back Yuuri's hair from his face and almost gagged when his fingers were stained red when he pulled them away. The large gash was hidden under his hair, but the blood flow wouldn't stop as it ran down his face and neck. 

"Yuuri-" Viktor began but stopped when he felt a strong pair of arms grab him from behind and yank him away. "No!" Viktor struggled as several paramedics rushed past him, speaking very quickly to one another in Spanish. A stretcher was brought onto the ice and they placed Yuuri's body on it very gently before whisking him away, much to Viktor's dismay.

"Viktor, calm down." Ah, so it was Chris who was holding him back. But the words fell on deaf ears as Viktor still struggled against him, tears pouring down- tears? Chris almost let go of Viktor in shock. He had never seen Viktor cry, not even once. In fact, Viktor only seemed to be happy most of the time, despite the situation. 

"Let me see him...let me go with him, goddammit!! Chris, let me go!!" Viktor snarled, pushing Chris off him before running off the ice. 

Viktor ran down hallways, heading towards the enterance at top speed. That is, into he bumped into Yurio.

"Oi, Viktor! What the hell is your problem? Shouldn't you be congratulating your fat boyfriend or something?" So he hadn't seen the accident. He was probably in the bathroom or getting interviewed while it happened. But that didn't matter, because he was in Viktor's way and had insulted Yuuri, even though Yuuri was hurt and on the way to the hospital, and could be dead-

"Move!" Viktor shoved Yurio aside and made to run to the doors until Yurio grabbed his arm.

"What the hell is-" Viktor silenced Yurio by slapping him right across the face. Yurio fell to his knees, staring up at Viktor in shock and anger while holding onto his now red cheek. Never had he seen Viktor this angry before.

"I said move." Viktor said darkly, before bolting to the enterance and hailing a taxi while avoiding reporters.

Yakov found Yurio like that, still kneeling on the carpet holding his cheek, still looking shocked, but now, a bit scared as well.  
_________________________________

Viktor burst into the hospital, cursing traffic. It had taken twenty minutes to get there, but it felt like twenty days, with the car moving at a snail's pace. But that didn't matter, because he was here. Viktor ran to the desk where a woman sat, typing away at a computer.

"I'm here for Katsuki Yuuri!! Please, what's going on with him? Will he be okay? Tell me-"

The lady cut him off with a harsh tone. "I'm sorry sir, but only family can gain access to that information. Please, what is your connection to-"

"I'm his fiancé!" Viktor yelled, waving his hand in front of her face, showing off his ring. She blinked slowly, before turning to her computer and typing in a few words.

"I'm sorry sir, but in seems he only got in surgery fifteen minutes ago. I have no idea what his condition is. If you're willing to stay until I get the news, the waiting room is over there." She gestured to the left.

Viktor slowly trudged over, the shock starting to form in his mind, collapsed in a chair, putting his hand in his face. He only then realized that his hands were still stained with Yuuri's blood.


	2. Impatient

Viktor emptied the contents of his stomach into the hospital's toilet. After finishing, slumped against the bowl, breathing heavily, the smell of Yuuri's stained blood still in his nostril's. A sick feeling washed over him and he dry heaved into the toilet. 

Stumbling out of the washroom, Viktor sat down in the waiting room's chairs, rubbing his temples and sore eyes. Unless the mirror had been lying, Viktor looked horrible, and he knew that. 

But it didn't matter, not when Yuuri was still in surgery. Viktor wouldn't give a crap about his looks until Yuuri was back in his arms, safe, unhurt okay. Not until Yuuri would be skating out on the ice, captivating him once more.

Viktor might not have to worry about his looks for a very, very long time.

"Viktor! VIKTOR!!!!!!!!" Viktor's head shot up at the loud scream echoing from the other side of the room. It was Phichit, who was running up to Viktor, smacking into people tripping over things very ungracefully. Viktor almost questioned how he got into the Grand Prix Finals. Almost. But the thing that had caught his attention was Phichit's angry red eyes, caused by crying.

See, you can't leave, Yuuri. Viktor thought. You've captured the hearts of too many people. Especially mine. 

"I-is there a-any news on Y-Yuuri?" Phichit asked, his voice breaking, his fists trembling with anger- or was it sadness? Viktor couldn't tell, he was both right now, but he managed to force a reply out of his mouth.

"None...absolutely nothing...I don't know if he's alright or he's okay or if he's still even alive- oh, god Yuuri," Viktor whispered, his head dipping down as he pressed his hand against his mouth, trying to stifle the sobs that were creeping up his throat. "Please be okay." 

Phichit stared at him with wide eyes, before sitting down right next to him. "I'm staying with you." He stated firmly. "I don't care if I have to miss the Grand Prix; I need to know if Yuuri's okay." 

So, they waited.

They waited for five, long hours. Various people dropped by; Chris, Otabek, JJ, Yakov, but they all left in the end. Yurio couldn't make eye contact with Viktor, not after what happened. Not since that hit. Things were definitely going to be different between those two from now on, and nothing could change that.

"Katsuki Yuuri? Is anyone here for Katsuki Yuuri-" Viktor ran up to the desk, his eyes wild and angry, with Phichit right behind him. Vikto's hands slammed down on the desk, creating a loud bang. He had seen too many people receive bad news; a girl had found out her father had passed away, two teens had waited helplessly for news about their friend who had been hit by a car, and a man who never got to say goodbye to his wife. Cancer had beat him too it. 

"Is he okay? Will he be alright? Is he- is he even alive?" Viktor asked, panic setting in. No, no it was too early for Yuuri to be gone-

The doctor looked straight into Viktor's eyes. "He's alive." Viktor's face gained a little bit of colour back, and Phichit sighed in relief. "But, that doesn't mean he got out of surgery unscathed.

A coma. Yuuri was in a damn coma.

Viktor felt his heart plummet into the pits of his stomach. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he grabbed Yuuri's pale hand in his, and tried to warm it. Phichit just stood in the doorway, shocked.

Coma. Shouldn't be in it for long. Two weeks. If longer, there'd be problems. Major problem's. That's all of what Viktor caught of the doctor's words, because his attention was drawn to Yuuri, his Yuuri, who was laying in the bed and was too cold and too pale and too still, too goddamn still.

"Go." Viktor said harshly to Phichit. Then he said in a much harsher tone: "Yuuri would never forgive you if you didn't go and give it your all. Go and win for him, go and skate for him." With a determined nod, Phichit left.

Now, Viktor was alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! Welcome to chapter two!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments, I love you all. Sorry if there was confusion on the amount of chapter's, I think I fixed it. I KNOW I KNOW the chapter is short, but I'm gonna update tomorrow. Tell me in the comments if you prefer longer chapters or more frequent updates.


	3. Wake up, Yuuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HEY HEY HEY!!!!!! (Yes I am a haikyuu fan too) welcome to chapter 3!!! I'm sorry if I caused you guys any pain or suffering. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Mr. Nikiforov, please-"

"No!! I refuse to believe that!!" Viktor shouted, running his hand through his hair. It wasn't true, the doctor's were lying, they had to be-

"Mr. Nikiforov, three weeks have passed. He should've woken up a week ago, at least. I'm afraid if stays in the coma any longer he'll be brain dead, gone from this world, just a lifeless corpse." The doctor said, obvious impatience in his voice. "I think it's best for Yuuri and you-" but he was cut off as Viktor reached forwards and grabbed the doctor's shirt; his fists were trembling, and when he spoke his voice was low.

"Listen here; if you- if you even think for a second that I'm just going to let you pull the plug on Yuuri, go screw yourself. There are too many people who love him for you to do that. If you did that, I don't think his family-" Viktor's voice broke a little. "I don't think I could I could live anymore."

There was a long silence until Viktor let go of the doctor's shirt and walked down to Yuuri's room.

"It been three weeks, Yuuri. I know I've asked you this every night, and I don't know what I'm supposed to expect anymore, but please wake up. The doctor's said you should've woken up a week ago. They think you're brain dead." A tear slipped down Viktor's cheek as he held on tightly to Yuuri's hand. It seemed to get cold everyday. "Come on, Yuuri. If you wake up, you-" Viktor started to chuckle. "You can eat all the pork cutlet bowls you want."

And then, as if that was the only thing that could grab Yuuri's attention, Yuuri woke up.

Viktor's scream ripped through the entire hospital. _______________________________ 

"Yuuri; oh my god, Yuuri." Viktor mumbled over and over into Yuuri's hair, clutching onto him tightly. It had only fifteen minutes since Yuuri woke up, and not even a metal crane could've pried Viktor away from his lover.

"I'm okay, Viktor; I'm okay." Yuuri told Viktor quietly, before looking up, confusion spread over his face, to the doctor. 

"You're very lucky, Yuuri." The doctor told him, a small smile on his face. "Any longer in that coma and I would've been 100% positive that you were brain dead; in fact, I had already believed it, but Mr. Nikiforov here," he gestured to Viktor, "Refused to give up."

Yuuri smiled. "Thank you Viktor." he said quietly, already tired. But one question bubbled up in his mind before he drifted off into a deep sleep.

"T-the grand prix final...?" 

Viktor looked into his eyes, a frown splayed across his face. "Yuuri, you hit your head before you could even participate in the free skate."

Ah... Yuuri thought, his eyes closing. 

So even with Viktor as my coach I'm still a failure, huh? _________________________________ 

Viktor jumped five feet in the air when Yuuri awoke again, screaming at the top of his lungs that he couldn't feel his legs.


	4. It's going to be okay

"Yuuri, calm down," the doctor said calmly. His voice held no emotion at all, which enraged Viktor.

"How could you say that?! Yuuri could be paralyzed!!" He snarled, clutching tightly onto Yuuri's hand, who was shaking and had tears running down his face.

"Actually, he's not." That got the two men's attention. "After not moving for three weeks, you're muscles have sort of...fallen asleep in a way, like when you take a nap and when you wake up you can't move your arm at first. You're leg muscles have only fallen asleep, and it's only temporary."

Viktor almost laughed in relief and pulled Yuuri into a tight hug. "You gave me a little scare there, my katsudon."

But Viktor's words fell on deaf ears. "How long will it take for me to be able to walk again?"

"Depends on how long you work at it. If you're quick, a week or two, if it'll take more time, a month, at most. This isn't a very serious case." The doctor pulled out a paper and started to scribble stuff down on it. "I suggest flying back to Hasetu, then seeing a therapist there. You'll be more comfortable with your surroundings, and family will be there to help."

After sorting out the arrangements, when to leave, and what therapist to see, Yuuri fell back asleep. The doctor was about to leave when he turned around. "Mr. Nikiforov?"

Viktor jerked his head up, minutes away from falling asleep as well. "Yes?"

"When you get to Hasetu, don't let Yuuri skate for a couple months, at least...please."

A frown appeared on Viktor's lips. "Why?"

"Well, for one, just because he might be able to walk in a few weeks doesn't mean he'll be ready to start skating and preform jumps and quads. And for the second reason.. I feel that getting out on the ice might cause some emotional trauma for Yuuri as well. After all, this is two Grand Prix's Yuuri has entered in and come dead last. The guilt may overwhelm him."

Viktor didn't like this; not one bit. Yuuri thrived to skate, to move on the ice. It was his passion, and Viktor didn't want to take that from Yuuri, even if it was only temporary. "Okay," he agreed hesitantly.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
"Yuuri, you're doing great!!" Yuri's therapist, Sakura, cheered. Yuuri was currently pulling himself along a walkway, each footstep seeming to weigh a ton; it was like his legs were rubber.

They had only been back to Hasetu for a week, and Yuuri had already made amazing progress. It seemed as if his determination was set on only one thing: walking. He constantly rejected meals, saying they would "weigh him down." That didn't stop Mari from trying to shove katsudon in his mouth whenever he started to speak, however. 

Almost there... Yuuri thought, seeing his wheelchair only six feet away. That damn wheelchair. It seemed to mock Yuuri whenever he was trying to get to it, which seriously pissed him off. 

Because he was a failure.

"Yuuri!!" Sakura screamed when Yuuri fell, his face connecting harshly with the ground. "You're lucky you didn't break your glasses." Sakura scolded, but Yuuri was lost deep in his thoughts.

I'm not a failure, he thought fiercely.

Yeah, you only lost the Grand Prix again.

You only let all of Japan down.

You only let Viktor down.

I...I am a failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guyssssssss. I know many people don't read the notes, but I have something I want to say. A couple of people have said in the comments that I don't know enough about hospital situations and stuff like that, and they are completely right. This is all made up and the facts are just ones that I've seen in tv shows. Honestly, I didn't think I would get many reads, (Over 5000!!!!!! OH MY GOD) so I didn't put that much effort into the injury information. Sorry to the people who are picky about that. AND THANK YOU ALL FOR READING MY STORY I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Determined

Another week passed and Yuuri finally got rid of that damn wheelchair. Good thing too, because he swore he could hear it taunt him whenever he used it. 

But that didn't matter anymore, because now he was faced with a new issue. And the fighting wasn't between him and his legs.

It was between him and Viktor.

"Yuuri, I already told you, you can't skate. Not yet, at least. Wait another month, and then you go out and conquer the ice. The doctor told me back in Barcelona that skating this early on could be dangerous." Viktor pleaded, grabbing onto Yuuri's hand. The two both had their rings on, and they sparkled out in the sun. 

"How could it be dangerous? Look at me, I can walk! I can finally move my legs without crutches or a wheelchair, and I feel fine! Viktor, you don't understand, I need to be on the ice, I need to be." Yuuri countered back, letting go of Viktor's hand. Determination rushed through him; he would go out on the ice, he would. Was Viktor arguing because he was worrying about him, or-

"Do you think I'll fail again?" Tears swelled in Yuuri's eyes, his voice trembling. "Do you think that if I go back out on the ice, I'll just mess up again? Because that's what I am, right? A big mess up-"

Viktor silenced him by grabbing onto his shoulders and pulling him into a deep, longing kiss.

For a minute the two stood there, kissing, the argument forgotten. At first it was deep and slow, but then it grew into the argument itself, the two furiously battling for dominance. 

It was Yuuri who pulled away, breathless and glassy eyed. "V-Viktor..."

A faint smirk formed on Viktor's face. "Oh, Yuuri, you're anything but a mess up. I wish more than anything for you to go back out on the ice, my katsudon, but-" he ran his hand gently through Yuuri's hair, not wanting to touch the stitches, "I'm only doing this because it helps you."

They walked back to the hot springs holding hands.  
___________________________________________________________________________

Now imagine Viktor's shock when he awoke at 1:00 in the morning to roll over and see Yuuri nowhere in sight.

Ever since the accident (and occasionally before that) Yuuri would crawl into Viktor's bed and sleep there, wrapped in his warm embrace. It was comforting to them both.

Panic flew through Viktor as he leaped out of bed, pulling on a shirt and jeans. His mind was completely blank, because, oh god Yuuri wasn't there and he had no idea where he was. Viktor had rushed down to check the kitchen to see if he had gotten something to eat, but he wasn't there. He had the same luck at the hot springs. 

The panic just grew worse when Viktor realized Yuuri's skates were gone. 

The run to the Ice Castle seemed to stretch on for miles and miles. 

"Yuuri!!" Viktor shouted, running out to the rink. He froze when he saw it.

There was Yuuri, kneeling on the ice, his body shaking furiously. Sobs echoed throughout the room and Viktor glided out onto the ice. 

"I'm such a failure." Yuuri sobbed, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I thought I was ready to back onto the ice, I thought that I could handle it but-" he started to choke on his words. "B-but I can't. I can't. I can't skate, I can barely walk, I placed last in the Grand Prix for the second time, I let you down- I let you down Viktor! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Yuuri burrowed his head into Viktor's chest. "Yuuri, you've never-' but Viktor stopped when the smell hit him. The strong smell of iron. He pulled Yuuri away and let out a scream when he saw the blood dripping down his face and the blood glistening in his black, silky hair.  
____________________________________________________________________________

"You're lucky. Somehow the stitches were pulled, but nothing major. He should be fine know." A doctor reassured Viktor, smiling. She patted him on the shoulder, before heading back down the hall. 

Viktor laid his head against the glass door seperarting him from Yuuri, not daring to go in yet. He was busy talking to his family anyway. A smile tugged at Viktor's lips when he saw Mari yell at Yuuri furiously.

"You've got to stop scaring me like that, Yuuri." Viktor whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EPISODE TWELVE!!!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!! THE FEELS!!!!!! And guys OMG thank you so much for 8000+ reads and 400+ kudos!!!! I love you all <3


	6. Christmas Special!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to make this one fluffy. Enjoy!

Yuuri stared enviously at the locked cabinet in the kitchen.

After the incident at the Ice Castle, Mari had take Yuuri's skates and locked them away until they knew he was ready for the ice. Lot's of screaming had issued from the Katsuki's that day, and ended with Viktor taking Mari's side. 

He hasn't talked to either of them for two whole days after that.

But the anger had slowly seeped away as Christmas and Viktor's birthday approached, and Yuuri's smile grew wider as the days came closer. He knew that in Russia Christmas and Birthday's weren't widely celebrated, but Yuuri still wanted to do something special. 

After all, it was their first Christmas together. 

"Viktor, are you positive you don't want anything for your birthday?" Yuuri asked, stirring ramen over the stove. It was just the two of them in the kitchen, and the spicy smell wafted through the hot springs.

"Well..." Yuuri immediately stiffened when he felt Viktor's arms wrap around his waist and his head rest on his shoulder. "You could always make me katsudon." There was a teasing tone in his voice. "You know I love katsudon."

A red blush spread across Yuuri's cheeks. "K-katsudon, huh?" 

"Yep!" Viktor smiled when Yuuri jumped in the air, his breath ticklish. "Yuuri..."

"Y-yes?"

"Kiss me." Then Viktor's lips were on Yuuri's, the ramen forgotten. It was a gentle kiss that made Yuuri weak in the knees. Viktor's arms tightened; the kiss that lasted minutes seemed only like a few seconds, and the two pulled away when smoke rose up from the stove.

"Oh!" Yuuri exclaimed, wrestling himself out of Viktor's grip and rushed to turn off the stove.  
________________________________

"Happy birthday, Vitya." Viktor's eyes sparkled at the name as a delicious looking bowl of katsudon was placed in front of him. 

"Amazing!" He dug in, savouring every flavour. Yuuri's family had exchanged gifts in the morning, and there was even one for Viktor. He had received a Maccachan plushie, curtesy of the Katsuki family. 

"It probably not as good as my moms." Yuuri said, rubbing his head. No katsudon could compare to his mom's.

"It's delicious! But I see a even better looking Katsudon in front of me." Viktor said, winking. 

"V-Viktor!" 

After the katsudon, Viktor stood and grabbed Yuuri's hand, pulling him out into the night. 

"Where are we going?" Yuuri asked.

"It's a secret!" Viktor said, winking. He took them to a rented car, but before they got in he turned to Yuuri. "Put this on." It was a blindfold.

"O-okay?" Now with the blindfold on, Yuuri was led to the passenger seat as Viktor took the wheel.

They drove for a good twenty minutes, and Yuuri was shivering. There had been a light snow all day, and Viktor hadn't turned up the heat.

"We're here!" Viktor got out of the car and ran over to the passenger seat, helping Yuuri out.

"Can I take off the blindfold?"

"No! Just another minute, my katsudon." Yuuri sighed as Viktor rummaged for a few more things in the back of the car. Then he led Yuuri a few steps forward. "You can take it off now."

Yuuri took off the blindfold, and gasped. Before him was a sparkling, frozen, pond. A few flakes were drifting in the night, and the moon shone. It was beautiful.  
"V-Viktor-"

"I know that the doctor said you should stay away from the ice for a another month, but I don't think it'll hurt if we skate together..." Viktor said. 

Tears welled in Yuuri's eyes. Soon they had skates on (curtesy of Viktor's early packing) and they were gliding together over the ice. 

"Thank you..." Yuuri mumbled. They were skating in a lazy circle, focusing more on each other. Viktor gripped Yuuri's waist tightly, and pressed his forehead against his. 

"Merry Christmas, Yuuri." Viktor whispered.


	7. Old wounds

Nearly two weeks had passed since Yuuri and Viktor had skated together under the stars. Viktor was buzzing with excitement; soon his Yuuri would be able to go fully back on the ice! Yuuri wasn't looking too excited, but it was probably nerves. After all, after what's happened on the ice any person would be nervous.

"Yuuri, what's wrong?" Viktor asked. The two were lounging on Yuuri's bed, listening to music. Yuuri was slightly pale looking, and he seemed to be nervous when Viktor had hopped on his bed... what was going. Viktor pushed the panic down; it was because of the skating tomorrow, that's all, it's just nerves.

"Well.." Yuuri started, his voice shaking. "I...I don't think I should start skating tomorrow."

Viktor gapped like a fish out of water. No, no why would Yuuri say something like this? For months, he had been aching to slip the sharp skates on his feet. Why would he say something like that now, when he's so close to be able to go back to do the thing he loves? Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong... this wasn't his Yuuri.

"Yuuri-" 

"Oi!!! Katsudon!!" The two jumped when Yuuri's bedroom door was kicked open to reveal a tired, grumpy looking Yurio.

"Yurio?" Yuuri lept out of Viktor's arms, stumbled, and pulled Yurio into a bone crushing hug. "It's been way too long! I've missed you!"

Yurio had an awkward look on his face when he lightly hugged Yuuri back. "I...I missed you too. It has been way too long, but I couldn't find a convenient time for you where I could drop by-"

Yuuri pulled back and gave Yurio a weird face. "You can drop by whenever you like; you know that, Yurio."

"Yeah..." Finally, after ages, Yurio and Viktor made eye contact. A large weight seemed to have fallen on Viktor's shoulders; that day, that terrible day when Yuuri had fell, and Viktor was full of rage, and when Yurio had talked too him- Viktor wanted to slap himself across the face, because, oh god, he hadn't meant to-

"I'm going to the hot springs," Yurio announced. He eyed Yuuri. "You coming?" 

Yuuri shook his head. In fact, Yuuri hadn't been to the hot springs in a while. Another thing too confront him about. 

Viktor winced when Yurio left, not even asking if he wanted to join him. Not that he could blame him, but still. 

"Did something happen between you two?" Viktor looked up to see Yuuri staring at him, his beautiful brown eyes shining with worry. Viktor felt a new emotion spring up in his chest, almost strong enough to wash away the feeling of guilt as he swept Yuuri up into a light hug, ignoring the yelp that he received in return.

"Nothing you have to worry about, my katsudon." Viktor whispered into his ear. 

__________________________________________________________________

"Yurio." Yurio yelped when Viktor slid into the hot springs, a cool look on his face. What would've been annoyance in his voice if this had happened three months ago was replaced by fear, and Viktor felt a pang in his heart. 

"I- I made a mistake at the Grand Prix. I shouldn't have hit you, I know I shouldn't have, but I was just so angry-" He looked into the blondes eyes, not expecting the look of- pity?

"Viktor." He hadn't expected Yurio's voice to be this collected. "I, sort of, understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very pissed about that hit. Very pissed. And- and I think trust between us might be an issue for a while. But I understand." He sighed and pushed back his hair. "What you were feeling- it was kind of like a hand had reached forward and squeezed your heart, right? Like that it hurt so much and if anyone got in the way they'd just make it much, much, worse?"

"...yeah."

"I know the feeling." He looked down, and spat his words as if they were bitter in his mouth. "I know the feeling too well."

And then Viktor realized that he really didn't know Yurio at all.  
__________________________________________________

"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuri~" Viktor singed, prancing into his room. "I think-"

But the words were lost when he saw Yuuri leaning against the wall, clutching his right leg with a look of pure agony on his face. 

:V-Viktor." He panted. "H-help me...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been away so long!! My computer (Being 13 years old) broke down so we had to get it fixed. But I'm back, fam! I'm also suffering from a terrible case of writers block, so please forgive me! (^.^) But I plan on updating tomorrow, and it might be the last chapter (;-;) We'll see how it goes!


	8. Do you forgive me?

No...

"I'm very sorry, Yuuri..."

No....

"But your leg..."

NO....

"The way the bone was broken, it will never heal properly. You'll never be able to skate again."

NO!!!!!

Viktor sat next to Yuuri in, covering his face in shock. No way. NO WAY. This was all a sick joke, right? This is a terrible nightmare that just won't let Viktor leave, right? But if this was a nightmare to Viktor, then to Yuuri...

It must be hell.

The doctor leaned forward, frowning at the x-ray. "By the looks of the x-ray, the bone would've been able to heal properly if it had been taken care of earlier... Yuuri, how exactly did you break your leg? Or should I ask, when?"

A deep shudder went through Viktor. There was no way Yuuri would hide something so painful, right? No way would Yuuri risk something that could destroy his career, the thing that makes Yuuri himself, right?"

"...a few days after Christmas."

Viktor stared at Yuuri in shock.

"Me and Viktor had went skating together a few days before, and even though it was amazing, it just wasn't enough." Yuuri took a deep breath. "So a couple days after when Yuuko came to visit me, I snagged a spare key to the Ice Castle off her." Tears were now welling in Yuuri's eyes, and for the first time, Viktor didn't give a damn, because the story was the thing that had caught his attention. "I snuck off in the middle of the might, swearing I wouldn't make the same mistake as last time. And when I got there, everything was fine. I landed my quads and toe loops, so I decided to try the quadruple flip, and the next thing I know..." his words were getting shaky now. "...the next thing I knew was that I was on my back on my leg was on fire. Now... I'm here."

The doctor nodded sadly. "And since you never got that leg checked out, it never healed properly."

That's what finally broke Yuuri. He was never going to compete in a Grand Prix ever again. He was never going to win a gold medal. He and Viktor would never be able to skate again.

It's when they returned from the hospital when Viktor snapped.

He grabbed Yuuri's shoulders a little too hard and shook him a little too forcefully. "Why?" He whispered, rage hidden behind the calm tone.

Yuuri wanted to respond, he really did, but Viktor bet him to it. "You-you idiot!" He screamed, and Yuuri flinched. "Y-Yuuri... if had just told one of us...no, if you had just listened to me, to the doctor, you'd be back on the ice!" Viktor was crying now, and Yuuri oh so desperately wanted to brush those tears away, but he was frozen. "Why didn't you tell anyone?!"

"I..." Surprisingly, his voice didn't shake or break. "I didn't want to see that look on your face. That look of disappointment."

Then, Yuuri rushed to his room and locked the door, expecting tears to come. But nothing came.

Because he couldn't feel anything.

Yes, his voice hadn't shook or broke. That's because it was lifeless.

Yuuri hadn't just lost skating; he lost a piece of himself too. And now...

He was just an empty shell.  
______________________________________________

Another month had passed, and Viktor, though he didn't want to admit it, was slowly giving up on Yuuri. His attempts to talk had be shaken off, the bedroom door was always locked. It seemed like depression was slowly winning battle.

Viktor just wanted to escape.

So when he heard that Chris was in town, he immediately took the chance and was now downtown, empty shot glasses rolling around in front of him.

"I think I'm losing him, Chris," Viktor sobbed, the burning whiskey only making feel worse. Yet, he downed another shot. "I don't want to lose him; he's MY Yuuri, MY katsudon, MY lover, and yet-" Viktor hiccupped. "He's just drifting further and further away."

Chris gave Viktor a small smile, something absolutely different from his usual knowing grin or smirk. "Viktor, maybe-" the words looked like they were having trouble coming out of his mouth. "Maybe that's what Yuuri wants."

Viktor gave Chris a look of absolute hate, and took all of his might not to run right then and there. The buzzing of crowds talking behind him had disappeared, and the only thing Chris could focus on was: "I don't think Viktor's ever loved anything this much."

Opening his mouth, Viktor was about to say something when a loud buzz came from his pocket. Frowning at the name, he answered. "Mari, what's-"

"Viktor! Are you with Yuuri?" That tone...

"No-"

"Shit! Shit shit shit!!!!!" Mari yelled. "He's not at home, or at the Ice Castle, or at the beach, or anywhere for the matter, and his damn cell phone is turned off-" but Viktor had turned it off, a dizzy feeling threatening too take over. 

"Chris, we gotta go, and you have to drive, fast!"

"Viktor~" Yuuri had softly that lovely Christmas night as they were skating, their bodies pressed together tightly. "This place would be a fitting place to die, don't you think?"

The drive had taken too long; FAR too long and soon Viktor was running through the woods and pushing branches aside and then-

Yuuri stood out, poised in the middle of the lake, staring at the sky; the ice was too thin, and cracks were forming under his feet.

"Yuuri-" Viktor's voice cracked as he tried to remain calm, staring at the man he loved. He reached forward, holding his hand out slightly.

"Viktor?" Yuuri murmured, looking over.

"Yeah- yeah it's me. Yuuri, please come here, please take my hand-" 

"Viktor." The two made eye contact, and Yuuri smiled so softly and so beautifully that it hurt. 

"T-take my hand, Yuuri. Please, my katsudon." Viktor was begging now, and he knew Chris was probably stumbling around lost, but that didn't matter-

"I love you." Yuuri said so forcefully that Viktor's heart cracked and tears were swarming his vision. "Viktor, I love you so much."

"I- I love you t-"

And the ice cracked, and Yuuri was gone.

Viktor stood there, paralyzed for what was only a minute seemed like hours, and then-

"YUURI!!!!!!!" Viktor's screamed ripped out of his throat as ran for the lake, ready to dive in-

"No." Viktor was now struggling against Chris; oh god, why was this so familiar-

"Viktor." Chris tried to ignore the screams and threats because he knew what Viktor didn't know, or refused to know-

"Viktor; he's gone."

"NO!! STOP LYING, YOU BASTARD, STOP!" But the truth was slowly dawning before him, and he sunk to his knees. "I never got to say it back...I never got to say it back..."  
__________________________________________

The funeral was held a week later.

Viktor wished he could remember the details, but he couldn't. Everything was just too fuzzy and too loud, and when he saw Yuuri's body-

When they had pulled him out of the pond it was white and lifeless, and bile had risen in Viktor's throat and he threw up right then and there.

And then it was another week later when Viktor was packing up to head home to Russia when he found it.

A letter.

Dear Viktor,  
If you found this, I've probably done something very stupid or very reckless; therefore, I apologize.  
I hope you can forgive me. After all, what I did was too selfish for my own good.  
But right now I'm going to take the chance I have here to say what I've felt for a while.  
Viktor Nikiforov, I love you.  
I never truly said this to your face before, have I? I don't think I've had the courage, but now I do, and hear me out.  
I love you. I love you more than anything. You might understand, you might not, but whenever I look at you my chest gets tight and my cheeks turn red and- god, I love you so much.  
You've been many things to me- an idol, a friend, a coach, and now- now I just want you to be my lover.  
I know I'm asking for a lot; after all, what I've put you through since the GPF- well, I'm surprised you still stuck around.  
I'm sorry. For everything. For failing you, for lying, for keeping secrets, and for what I'm about to do- or what I've already done.  
When I found out I couldn't skate, I lost a piece of myself, Viktor, and when I lost that piece something new started to take over.  
I just need to tell and ask these few things, so bear with me, okay?  
One: I love you.  
Two: You've given me everything I've ever asked for.  
Three: When I skated with you, I don't think I was ever happier.  
And now for the questions:  
One: Can you forgive me?  
Two: Do you love me?  
\- Katsuki Yuuri

Smiling with tears running down his cheeks, Viktor looked to the sky. "I forgive you. And, yes Yuuri. I love you. I love you so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I really hoped you guys like that. This is the last chapter, and I really tried my best. Thank you to everyone who gave me full support, everyone who read this, and everyone who left kudos. I never expected the story to get this popular, and since it's my dream to become a writer...well, I'm very lucky. Thank you guys so much, and I hope you enjoyed the journey~

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!!! Thanks so much for checking out my fanfiction! I hope to update once or twice a week, and if any of you guys have tips on how I could improve, I gladly appreciate them. Thanks!


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